Reducing Wordiness

Avoid using unnecessary words in your writing.

1. Error example: After skiing down the slope, we went into a warming house that was there at the bottom

    Error correction: After skiing down the slope, we went into a warming hut.

2. Error example: The young man who was of an age between twelve and twenty was my friend.

    Error correction: The teenager was my friend.

3. Error example: She went skiing with her friend Susan, who was an expert.

    Error correction: She went skiing with her friend Susan, an expert.

4. Error example: One of the writers from California was John Steinbeck.

    Error correction: One of the Californian writers was John Steinbeck.

Exercise

Try to correct some sentences on your own by changing the italicized clause into the type of phrase or clause shown in parentheses.

Examples:

    A. I graded papers while I was watching television. (elliptical clause)

        I graded papers while watching television.

    B. As I answered the phone, I turned off the television. (participial phrase)

        Answering the phone, I turned off the television.

    C. I need a grading system that will save time. (infinitive phrase)

        I need a grading system to save time.

Note: An elliptical clause leaves out some words.

          A participial phrase begins with a participle: a word ending with ing, ed, or en.

          An infinitive phrase begins with the word to + a verb that is not changed for tense or person.

1. If it is properly trained, a dog will not chase cars. (participial phrase)

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2. President Obama is very serious when he is discussing politics. (elliptical clause)

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3. I said nothing that could have hurt John's feelings. (infinitive phrase)

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